Check out the Shabbatness blog every Sunday night for your weekly fix on life, love, and the lessons and laughs we can take away from it all. Get advice and anecdotes on dating and matchmaking, reviews on hot date spots in NYC, and Q & A from the Shabbatness community on tackling texting, Tinder, breaking up, making up, and everything in between.

January 22, 2018

The Age Gauge Part II: The Interview

There are two sides to every story. Due to the overwhelming response to last week’s “Age Gauge” blog, I decided to sit down for an interview with Brad*, the man I dated for almost ten months before finding out he had lied to me about his age by 7 years (amongst other things). I asked him all the tough questions. OMG, so fun, right?! (Hey, I’d do anything for this blog, what can I say?!) In the end, it gave me a lot of insight, as well as a sense of resolution. Check it out below: Me: Before we met, how long had you been on apps? Were you always a different age on the apps? Why did you decide to lie about your age on the apps? What did you hope to “achieve”? Did it work? Brad: I had been on the apps for probably 6 months. It was […]
January 15, 2018

The Age Gauge

“There’s something I have to tell you,” Brad* said. “And we should probably sit down.” We had been walking around exploring East Point, a quaint little hillbilly hotspot off the Gulf Coast of Florida on a steamy summer day when the mood had taken a serious turn. “I’ve been hiding something from you,” he said, taking a deep breath. I couldn’t help but feel anxious. We had been dating for 10 months, and he had already told me about his two amazing kids and the messy divorce he had just finalized. So, what could this be? Was he in trouble at work? Sick? Was he still on Tinder?!   “I’m….. not 39,” he mumbled, his face pained. He wouldn’t even say his real age, making me guess. Taking the Price is Right approach of not wanting to overbid, I finally worked myself up to the magic number: 46. He had […]
January 5, 2018

Jack and Clover

Jack was strong, stubborn, and full of energy. He was absolutely gorgeous, with soft, silky ginger hair, which would swing with every effortless toss of his head. He had the biggest brown eyes I’d ever seen, with impossibly long eyelashes you couldn’t help but notice. As soon as we were first introduced one summer years ago, we were inseparable. I loved him instantly, and I quickly grew to trust him with all of my heart. Then, one day, when I reached out my hand to graze the side of his face, he flashed his beautiful white teeth and bit the $*#& out of my armpit.  Jack, a purebred Palomino horse, had never hurt a fly in the years I went to Pounds Stables, a farm near where I grew up in Dunwoody, Georgia. That summer day over 20 years ago, though, he bit me so badly that he ripped my […]
December 29, 2017

New Year’s Resolutions

For over twenty years, I’ve sat down on New Year’s Eve to reflect on the past year, writing down the highs and lows as well as my resolutions for the year to come. Thanks to my mom preserving (a.k.a. hoarding) every memento of my youth, we found the original New Year’s 1997-98 entry from my childhood journal! It’s clear many of my concerns at 12 are still relevant today. (Considering I’m still in grad school, even #1 applies!) Trying to make sense of the unexpected death of my swim coach and a few close family friends while balancing weight issues, boy problems, and school, 1997 was a year of significant personal growth for me (as well as physical growth, which was NOT fun in middle school!). Looking at the past is definitely helpful in looking ahead at the future, and I hope we all take some time to reflect right […]