Check out the Shabbatness blog every Sunday night for your weekly fix on life, love, and the lessons and laughs we can take away from it all. Get advice and anecdotes on dating and matchmaking, reviews on hot date spots in NYC, and Q & A from the Shabbatness community on tackling texting, Tinder, breaking up, making up, and everything in between.
I knew I was in trouble the second I stepped into Mario’s dorm room on freshman move-in day at Georgetown University. Biceps bulging as he set down his Xbox console to walk over to greet me, my heart nearly exploded as soon as we made eye contact. Though three years my junior, Mario towered over me, an Italian Catholic boy from New Jersey with thick brown hair curling out from underneath his Yankees cap. His enormous hand swallowed mine as I reached out to introduce myself to him and his mother. “You are my son’s R.A., so you will take good care of him, right?” she asked. Oh, you betcha I’ll take reeeeeal good care of him, lady… For the next two weeks, I would eagerly await the nightly ding of the microwave in the common area outside my room as Mario would warm up a bag of popcorn wearing his usual […]
Three handsome, successful NJBs (nice Jewish boys) stand before a beautiful, talented young woman, vying for her hand. How will she ever decide? Good thing she won’t have to. No, this is not some old Jewish fairytale you’ve never heard of, and there are no evil stepmothers or wicked witches to interfere; rather, it’s reality TV, and three wise bubbies will determine the fate of this menschy maiden, a gorgeous actress and server with flowing wavy blonde hair named Sionne. Who will the bubbies select to take Sionne on a date (that will be recorded for our viewing and commenting pleasure?!): Will it be bartender and biker boy Eli, a judío latino; hopeless romantic Daniel, a personal trainer; or bearded blondie Bradley, a musically talented stand-up comic? It’s just another day’s work on the set of Bubbies Know Best in Los Angeles, and I’m still pinching my own punim that […]
I was terrified. My mom had received a letter requesting a parent-teacher conference to address the comments written on my quarterly report card, which was attached and sealed to the letter. With her wild hair and gruff demeanor, Mrs. Bear, the head of the fifth grade’s Talented and Gifted program, was more of a “grizzly” than a “teddy”. I was on the Super Honor Roll and had perfect conduct, and I was shaking with fear wondering what I had done to warrant a meeting. My mom and I ripped open the report card and saw one line in the comments section: “Little Erin marches to the beat of a different drummer…” My first thought was relief — she thought I was little! At 5’3″ and already a women’s size 12, puberty had hit me early and hard. I had no idea what the rest of the comment meant, however. How […]
Last Wednesday was the first time I had someone sleep over at my new* apartment in Upper East Side. “How did you sleep last night?” I asked him. After a month of fixing up the place, I was really excited to have someone over. “Oh terribly bad!” he said. “I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!” Ok, so that’s actually what the princess in Hans Christian Andersen’s famous fairytale The Princess and the Pea replied when asked the same question, but his response was along the same lines. Over avocado toast at my new favorite neighborhood find, Hutch and Waldo, he launched into a diatribe of what made my bed so uncomfortable. While my sheets were definitely not high enough […]