Check out the Shabbatness blog every Sunday night for your weekly fix on life, love, and the lessons and laughs we can take away from it all. Get advice and anecdotes on dating and matchmaking, reviews on hot date spots in NYC, and Q & A from the Shabbatness community on tackling texting, Tinder, breaking up, making up, and everything in between.
Denny’s isn’t necessarily the first place you’d think to go if you were lookin’ for love. My parents’ love story might make you think otherwise, however. Forty years ago, working the night shift at a Denny’s in Atlanta to pay for college, my dad never imagined he’d find a Grand Slam that wasn’t on the menu. At 19, my mom never thought her summer waitressing gig would help her land a man who could bring home the bacon — literally. Today, on their 34th wedding anniversary, I gave them an assignment to send me a list of the “Top 10 Secrets to Everlasting Love”, as well as what it was initially that made their particular relationship special. They had to submit them separately, without sharing with each other. My mom told me that she knew my dad was the one because, “He always gave me butterflies. We were so hot for […]
Anyone who watches Millionaire Matchmaker knows that Patti Stanger advises all of her clients to stick to her rule of “No sex before monogamy!” While I love Patti’s straight-up style and tell-it-like-it-is ‘tude, I could not disagree with her more on this one. (Well, she does disapprove of gingers, which I’ll never understand. SO HOT.) How could you know if you want to be monogamous with someone if you haven’t slept with them?! While many may not agree, I believe commitment is more sacred than sex, particularly as you get older. When you’re in your early 20s, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a wonderful thing. Marriage and the distant future are rarely a concern, and love is often enough to fuel a relationship. I loved my sexy Italian stallion boyfriend in college, and it never occurred to me that our polarizing religious views and vastly different post-graduate plans mattered. […]
It was a beautiful Labor Day weekend, and three girlfriends and I were enjoying an afternoon in the Hamptons at Cyril’s (R.I.P.). Soon after we sat down, a guy came over to our table and reached for our fifth unused chair, asking, “Is anyone using this?” He began to lift it off the ground to bring it over to where he was sitting with his friends. “Nope, go ahead,” I said, motioning with my hand for him to take it. Suddenly, he spun the chair back around, sat down, and pulled it up to our table, reaching out his hand, saying, “Oh, great! Hi, I’m Damien.” It was bold. It was unexpected. And best of all, it made us laugh. He was cool, collected, and just the right amount of confident, without a semblance of creepiness. Waving to our waiter, he covered our round of drinks, and his friends soon pulled […]
A lot of my clients have asked me the same question: “How do you know when you’ve found your match?” The answer is actually incredibly simple: You know you’ve found your match when you realize you’ve become who you’ve only hoped and dreamt you could be, and who you could only be given the presence of this other person in your life. It is exactly why I don’t believe your match is someone exactly like you. While it is crucial to share values and goals with your partner, the secret lies in your complementary traits. To say I am Type A would be an understatement. I sweat if I’m running even a minute late to anything, and I’m anxious at the mere thought of skipping my daily ClassPass workout or sleeping in on a Saturday when there are so many things to be done. I’d rather walk through Times Square […]